Sometimes when parents die, family dynamics change and relationships are lost. This is the case for a woman who now seeks advice after her brother leave property of the parents without consulting them first.
In a after shared on Mumsnet on Sunday, which has so far reached more than 140 comments, the user known as Coffeecup123456 explained that after both her parents passed away a few years ago, she decided not to have contact with her brother, describing him as a controlling and untrustworthy person.
When her parents died, Coffeecup123456 and her brother became joint executors of the will, but the woman relinquished her role after her mother died, to avoid “my name being attached to the estate and that he would not do things as he should”.
“Since then I found out he was renting it out for 3.5 years. The lawyer said I could only regain some control if I went through a lengthy/costly process to rename myself executor.”
After looking up the House out of curiosity, the woman discovered that it had been sold within the past six months, without her consent and without being informed.
“I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do or go somewhere to find out more. He wouldn’t like to share information and would be prone to lying.”
The woman later agreed that it was “foolish” of her, in money terms, to give up as a co-executor, but at the time she was in a “self-preservation mode” and just needed to be away from her brother.
According to the 2019 Questionnaire of consumer finance (SCF) by the Federal Reserve, the average heritage in the US is $110,050 for the middle class, per financial technology company SmartAsset. Thus, the user may have lost a significant amount of money.
One user, girlmom21, commented: “You chose to give up your role and not interact with him. I’m not sure why you expected him to keep in touch when you knew how untrustworthy and unreliable he was.” is.” And TronDeReplay said, “If you’re a beneficiary of the will, then not being an executor shouldn’t affect what you should receive.”
Another user, Itiswhatitisuntilisnt, said: “He doesn’t need to inform you that he sold the house, but we need to know what’s in the will? If you are entitled to a share of the estate, you can ask who is the likely lawyer and speak to them.” And BobLemon asked, “What do you want to achieve?”
The debate raged on in the comment sections, at times confusingly, about what her options were.
Octomore pointed out: “You have relinquished the role of executor, but that is not the same as giving up everything you were entitled to as a beneficiary. Were you a beneficiary? If so, I don’t know why you are passing so much time before wondering where your share of the estate is.”
Carefully noted: “[You Are Being Unreasonable] expecting him to get you involved since you voluntarily relinquished your executor status. [You Are Not Being Unreasonable] to expect him to share the proceeds with you if you were a beneficiary. You need further legal advice.”
Ohthatsexciting, commented, adding the government website to their comment: “£3 to find who sold and who bought.”
Another user, Pixiedust1234, shared his own similar experience: “Oh, good luck. I’m still waiting for my brother to give me the rest of my inheritance from 9 years ago. It would cost more to sue him/a lawyer, but it’s still thousands of pounds that he essentially stole from me/other siblings.”
And Threetulips added: “I agree you need a lawyer – some will delay payment of any proceeds. You should have put a note on the property inquiring if a sale is going through – this can make this mess have prevented. I doubt you will see money.”