In a post that went viral on social media, the internet criticized a woman for accusing her friend of having “losers” that her mother was still alive.
Published on reddit‘s popular r/AmITeA**hole forum, a woman using the username u/BTS-X-ARMYLOVE shared her story with the “AITA” community to see if she was wrong. The popular post has 6,000 upvotes and 1,600 comments.
“So for context, I have hair that’s significantly longer than the average person,” the Reddit user began, “I get compliments on it all the time and while it’s a hassle to take care of, I really like it.” “nice. My friend, who we’ll call Kate, lost her mother to cancer before we met. I don’t know the whole story, but apparently she had hair as long as mine until she shaved it all off.”
She said she hasn’t been friends with “Kate” for very long and that things were going well until Kate asked her for a favor. When the original poster (OP) asked what she needed, Kate asked her to cut her hair past her shoulders because it “looked so much like her mother’s”. She admitted it brought her back trauma and that if the OP didn’t cut her hair, she didn’t know if they could remain friends. Kate would have asked her before but thought it would be awkward because she just become friends†
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The OP told Kate she wouldn’t cut her hair. However, she explained why she thinks she’s wrong.
She wrote: “Here’s Where I Could Be” [the a**hole]† I told her a few reasons why I liked having long hair and one of them was about how much I resembled my mother. I immediately felt bad about the awkward timing of the comment and tried to tell her I wasn’t kidding her because she didn’t have a mother or anything, but this seemed to make her even angrier.
“She started screaming and crying about how she thought she could trust me and how terrible I was for enjoying the fact that my mother is still alive. I tried the situation but it obviously wasn’t going to work, so I ran outside,” she continued.
Since their fight, the OP has been getting calls and texts from other friends in the friend group about how “disgusting” she is. Kate told them all about their argument and how the OP refused to cut her hair. Kate believes the OP reminds her of her mother and she begins to look more like her mother’s daughter than Kate. Some of the OP’s friends believe her, and the others don’t, and say she should just cut her hair. Some even said they hope the OP will experience what it’s like not to have a mom anytime soon.
news week contacted u/BTS-X-ARMYLOVE for comment.
Are you in a similar situation? Do you think you have a toxic friendship? According to TODAY.com, in a survey of 18,000 women and 4,000 men, 84 percent of women and 75 percent of men reported having a toxic friend in their lives.
Here are some “toxic” signs to watch out for: constant fighting, lack of support, emotional abuse, and feeling like you can’t rely on or trust them, according to wellandgood.com.
What can you do to drive the toxicity out of the friendship to start a healthy friendship? According to Romper, speak for yourself and share your feelings, stay away from their toxic behavior and take a break from seeing each other.
Many users shared their opinion and defended the OP.
†[Not the A**hole]† When she has trauma she needs therapy, not all people with her like her mother get their hair cut,” u/tatasz received more than 10,000 votes for their comment.
†[Not the A**hole], the world cannot protect her from all her triggers. It’s your hair. She needs to address her grief, not force people to help her ignore it,” u/mossydeerbones said.
U/Specialist-Leek-6927 wrote: “[Not the A**hole]… Even by calling your mother you certainly are not [the a**hole], she brought up her mother to try to manipulate you into cutting your hair, you brought up your mother to justify why you wouldn’t. I suspect her problem is just jealousy.”
“It’s an awkward conversation, but [Not the A**hole]† Physical autonomy. You can do whatever you want with your own body. It’s okay for her to talk to you about it and see if you’re willing to do it, but she can’t demand that you change anything about yourself,” exclaimed u/FeastForTheWorms.