Google has new reasons why you should ditch the iPhone (some might make you laugh)

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Photo by Daniel Romero on Unsplash

They never stop trying. They never surrender.

google will always try to make you look at you iPhone and say, “Honey, I love you. But it’s over.”

Perhaps spurred on by a sense of renewal, the company presented a new tract that tries to entice iPhone users.

Entitled “10 Reasons to Switch to Android,” Google is confident that you’re (finally) “ready to get involved.”

How cruel to suggest that iPhone users are not having fun.

They’ll love to feel that touch of superiority that comes with paying a little more for your phone. They always have fun looking down on Android users anyway green bubbles during group chats

Perhaps that is what Google has in mind when it offers the first reason to switch to Android: “Express yourself in new ways.”

“Are there any new ways?” you may wonder. Google insists there are: “With the Messages app and Gboard, it’s easy and enjoyable to send messages, especially between friends who use Android.”

There it is. Why be part of an iPhone clique when you can be part of an Android clique? If that doesn’t particularly tempt you, Google adds a punchline: “Don’t worry, your iPhone friends will still receive your messages.”

But wouldn’t it be better if they don’t receive your messages? Wouldn’t that contribute to a sense of exclusivity? Wouldn’t it even pressure them to decide who their real friends are?

Some of Google’s reasons for switching are almost mundane. For example: “Video chat with anyone, anywhere.” Isn’t that a given for every device? Just like ‘Tune Into Your Favorite Music’.

However, I sense a trend here. Google tries to convince you that you will not lose anything of your historical relationship with your iPhone. Well, almost nothing.

Example: “If you previously bought and downloaded music on your iPhone, your music will be transferred to your Android phone, as long as it is DRM-free.”

How many people know which of their songs are DRM-free? Maybe everyone. Maybe I haven’t found the habit.

However, sometimes Google gets caught up in the strands of its promises. “More devices that work better together,” says Google. But again, it feels compelled to add, “Some of your Apple products still work with your Android device, like AirPods.”

Google asks you to make sacrifices to switch, you know. Some of your Apple products don’t work with your Android devices and you get angry. But please don’t get so mad. Just buy an Android equivalent.

Somehow, Android’s more powerful arguments — customization and translation, for example — feel rather relegated in this Switch Top 10. It’s as if Google wants iPhone users to believe that they’ll get the same joys from Android as they do from iOS.

However, your gut may chuckle at one of Google’s arguments: “A privacy-first approach.”

Does anyone really believe that? google? Too often the company has been raked by regulators for a blasé attitude to privacy. Suddenly claiming it’s a privacy-first company has all the persuasiveness of an altruistic raccoon.

In addition, Apple has worked hard – with some success – to brand privacy as: a unique Apple feature† With ads and High Priestly Sayings of CEO Tim Cook

On the other hand, I’m not sure how many people still bother to switch. In chats with courier store associates, very often the answer is, “Not much.”

Still, any new convert can be a passionate one. And if we are to believe research, Android has had quite a bit of testing, at least in the US. A regular survey suggests that the vast majority of American teens own an iPhone and expect their next phone to be an iPhone.

But I want to offer hope. The latest survey, earlier this year, found: a small improvement in Rebellion against Android

I wonder how many teens did that for privacy reasons.

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